sometimes when i find myself
cursing you and hating the way
youve made me feel
i stop and think back
to a time when i wasnt scared
of you
or how you touched me

when i opened up myself
all that i am and
all that i had and
gave so willingly
to you

i think of that time because
even though it was me
yielding to you
it was me
in control
and you,
groping in darkness
you, scared.

of me - loving you
of us - being in love
of everything in general

i wasnt the the one faltering then
i wasnt lost
though i am now
but thats another story

i knew the things to do and say
how and when
fast or slow
hard or soft

i knew exactly what i wanted
that first time
and you did too
you just werent sure how to get there

i took you hand
and we got there together
that first time

now...
after all this time
and all that has happened to us
and how many times
youve hurt me
id still wish for that first time
to be my everytime

and i still think back to then
that first time we made love
and all my hate dies
my body goes soft, and i ache
for your touch

and i have a moment of tenderness
for you
one fleeting, flailing moment.

i only wish that you would think back
too and have a moment for
me.

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