I Cried
I cried the first time he touched me.
Pain so unbearable I almost pulled away.
The kind of cruel sweetness that feels
so good
but you know you cant let it get to you.
I felt my defenses
one by one
shattering...
I heard them crumble,
faintly,
over the beating of my heart.
I cried the first time he touched me.
So afraid I would never be held the
way he was holding me.
So young
so scared
with so much to give...
And unsure if Id ever have anyone
to give it to.
Arms that ached so badly
that I forced my tears
t! o stay inside...
to not show how bad I wanted
to simply feel.
And be felt.
I cried the first time he touched me.
Dreading deep down inside
it would be the last.
Not knowing if I would ever
be held again...
and spend the rest of my nights
clutching a tear-soaked pillow
and reading the alarm clock
with blurry eyes in the
dawn.
And all the while...
he held me--
While I cried...the first time
he touched me.
I cried the first time he touched me.
Pain so unbearable I almost pulled away.
The kind of cruel sweetness that feels
so good
but you know you cant let it get to you.
I felt my defenses
one by one
shattering...
I heard them crumble,
faintly,
over the beating of my heart.
I cried the first time he touched me.
So afraid I would never be held the
way he was holding me.
So young
so scared
with so much to give...
And unsure if Id ever have anyone
to give it to.
Arms that ached so badly
that I forced my tears
t! o stay inside...
to not show how bad I wanted
to simply feel.
And be felt.
I cried the first time he touched me.
Dreading deep down inside
it would be the last.
Not knowing if I would ever
be held again...
and spend the rest of my nights
clutching a tear-soaked pillow
and reading the alarm clock
with blurry eyes in the
dawn.
And all the while...
he held me--
While I cried...the first time
he touched me.