she looks in the mirror.
she sees mascara streaks
and tear trails.
her eyes are blood shot...
her hair is falling in her face.
she looks tired.
"at least my lips are shiny," she says to herself,
as she puts on lip gloss.
"who cares if its 3 in the morning and no one will see it anyway."
for a second it makes her happy.
the small things make her so damn happy.
she gives herself one last look.
she turns away.
she cant look anymore...
her eyes have the look of complete sadness.
confusion.
hurt.
fear of changing.
the look that tells you she is numb inside.
almost dead inside.
paralyzed by her own thoughts.
thoughts she know she shouldnt have.
her eyes have the look of one way glass...
that black glass...
you can tell theres more behind there-
things shes hiding.
but you cant ask about that one-way glass,
cause youre not supposed to know about it.
though you do.
but you act like you dont.
and you could ask.
sure, ask away.
but she wont let you see.
she wont let you see how she cries herself to sleep-
that is on the nights she can sleep.
she wont let you see her tearing herself down...
analyzing this and that.
calling herself stupid,
because she knows you hate that word.
she wont let you see her sadness
or her stupidity
eating through her.
chewing its way through her.
she doesnt let you see what keeps her awake.
because she doesnt want to tell you
that its you.
she doesnt want to tell you
that her feelings for you
are whats chewing her up inside.
so turn away now.
ignore it and pretend its not there.
act like you dont know.
act like the one-way glass holds nothing
but empty stares from your own eyes.